And how I did enjoy it all, every single minute of it! My heart beat time to the music as if it would never tire of doing so. Miss Clinton and I exchanged little laughs and scraps of conversation in between times, and I fell deeper and deeper in love with her. Every pound I have melted and frozen and starved off me has brought me nearer to her, and I just can't think about how I am going to hurt her in a few days now. I put the thought from me, and so let myself swing out into thoughtlessness with one of the boys.,
If men would just make an end of women's hearts in a businesslike way, it would be so much kinder of them. Why do they prefer to use dull weapons that mash the life out slowly? Everything is at an end for me to-night, and that blow did it. It was a horrible cruel thing for him to say to me! I know now that I have been in love with John Moore for longer than I can tell, and that I'll never love anybody else, and that also I have offered myself to him and have had to be refused at least twice a day for a year. A widow can't say she didn't understand what she was doing, even to herself, but—— My humiliation is complete, and the only thing that can make me ever hold up my head is to puzzle him by—by happily marrying Alfred Bennett—and quick.,
Something in me died for ever, I think, when he spoke to me like that. He's not like other men, and there aren't any other men on earth but him! All the rest are just nowhere. And I'm not anything myself. There's no excuse for my living, and I wish I wasn't so healthy and likely to go on doing it. It was all over, and there was nothing left for me to live for, and before I could stop myself I buried my face in my hands..
This app may share these data types with third
parties
Device or other IDs
This app may collect these data types
Location, Personal info and
9 others
Data is encrypted in transit
You can request that data be deleted